It was a beautiful spring day and Eunice was enjoying riding round and round the old stone wall. Screech-screech, screech-screech went the wheels of her trike as she pedaled lazily along, feeling the gentle breeze wafting through her antennae. Past the boxwoods, round the corner, past the tall maple trees, past the red fire hydrant, round the other corner to bring herself back to her original starting place. She had traveled this circular route so many times that the tires of her tricycle had worn a little dirt path that she could now follow mindlessly daydreaming as she pedaled.
It was in just such a dreamy state of mind that Eunice rounded the corner and almost ran smack into something that nearly scared her half out of her wits. Looming before her stood a frightful creature that looked like an alien from outer space. It had the head of a bird with a great pointy beak, yet had a thick robot-like body with stiff arms and legs that could barely bend as it walked toward her on two great flat webbed feet. It was pushing along some large metal and steel contraption with wires and levers sticking out everywhere, which Eunice could only guess was some kind of space vehicle.
“Eeeeeeeeek!!!!” screamed Eunice, her eyes bulging out and her antennae standing straight up from her head.
“Eunice, Eunice”, came a vaguely familiar muffled voice from the great beaked head. “Don’t be afraid. It’s just me, Froggy”
With that, the creature began to remove its huge, strange head and Eunice saw that it was only her friend, Froggy’s, face underneath, and only Froggy’s great flappy green feet sticking out below.
“Froggy!” said Eunice, “What happened to you?!?!?”
“Nothing HAPPENED to me, Eunice.” answered Froggy with a chuckle in her voice. “I’m just wearing my new riding gear.”
Having now completely removed her headgear, Froggy explained, “This is my new bike helmet with removable, aerodynamically designed, UV-ray filtering visor.” Then holding up two limp pieces of fabric, she said, “These are my new fingerless, super-grip riding gloves with maxi-flex knuckle openings and breathable moisture-wicking palms.” Then removing some stiff, knobby clumps from her knees and elbows she continued, “These are my new ultra-safe, hermetically hardened, plastic knee and elbow protectors with quick release Velcro fasteners. And these are my expandable wrap-around elastic wrist guards.” Finally, taking off a heavy layer of padding from the bottoms of her legs and the front of her chest, she explained, “Oh, and these are just my old soccer shin guards and catcher’s padding for a little extra protection.”
Looking at the huge pile of discarded gear laying at Froggy’s feet, Eunice asked, “Protection from what?”
“From injuries, of course, when I ride my new 10-speed, lightweight, aluminum framed, hydraulically balanced, dynamically proportioned racing bike with friction reducing struts and pneumatic brake pads.”
“Racing bike!” squealed Eunice in delight. “Oh boy! Let’s race! MARKET, SET, GO!” and with that, Eunice began pedaling her trike and speeding around the dirt track as fast as her little legs could go.
“W-w-w-wait!” sputtered Foggy. “I’m not ready yet!” she called weakly as she began frantically trying to reassemble her riding gear, getting her fingers caught in the wrong holes of her fingerless gloves, her shin guards Velcroed to one another rather than around her legs, and her elbow guards on her knees and her knee guards on her elbows.
Meanwhile, Eunice was already well out of earshot and couldn’t hear a thing Froggy was saying as she sped around the old stone wall. Past the boxwoods, round the corner, past the towering maple trees, past the red fire hydrant, straining forward with a look of great determination, her little antennae streaming out dramatically behind her.
As she rounded the final bend, she spied Froggy up ahead wobbling on her bicycle and just beginning a slow start around the track. Froggy looked extremely uncomfortable as she tried to maneuver her new bike. The seat was too high and the handlebars too low. The only part of her gear she was wearing was her aerodynamic helmet with removable visor, with the visor definitely removed.
Eunice sped to the finish line, ending up in the exact spot where she had begun, shouting, “I won! I won! I won the race!”
“You certainly did,” said Froggy weakly, completely exhausted by the whole ordeal. “Congratulations, Eunice.”
Having finished the race, Eunice decided she needed just one last victory lap around the track before calling it a day. Froggy slowly accompanied her, still trying unsuccessfully to work the confusing brakes and gears on her new bike. ” I think I might just go back to riding my old one-speed with the foot brakes again,” she said. “I really liked that bike.”
“Me too.” agreed Eunice. “Especially the basket on the front with the pink daisies.”
“And,” she added knowingly, ” it was a lot faster.”
